Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
