let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
