thus making me awesome and them whores
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
