Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
