If i come over, it means nothing
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
