okay pat passed out under dana's car
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Randomize
