Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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