kristin has been a bad kristin
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
