maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
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