Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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