You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
So much Jack, so little girl.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
Randomize
