How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Randomize
