pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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