what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
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