I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
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