their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Randomize
