new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
