Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Randomize
