we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Randomize
