I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
Randomize
