I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Randomize
