Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Randomize
