hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
