I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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