i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Randomize
