Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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