They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
