What a fucking waste of an outfit
Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
I’m inviting a few of my favorite manwhores to a pool party. Bring booze and wear your banana hammock so Amy can see what I’m always talking about
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