Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
Apparently 'ewww' is not the correct response to him saying he has to go to a funeral while I'm there.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
