I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
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