It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
