Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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