I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
