Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
