She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
