We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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