If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
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