Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My mom just busted me rolling a blunt on her bathroom counter. ...all she said was fuck it it's Christmas
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
Randomize
