Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
Randomize
