i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
