i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
