Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Randomize
