I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
