She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
