she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
my liver is dry heaving
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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