No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Randomize
