Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
