I'm drive I can fine osifer
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I think I sprained my soul last night
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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