She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
