you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
smell my finger.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
