well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Randomize
