Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize
