we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
i think my cat just said my name.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
